‘’I just murdered five people with my bare hands. In a hasty attempt to diffuse the situation I buried their bodies in my mother’s garden but instantaneously I realised my mistake; this wasn’t the best hiding place, so me being the mastermind I am, I grabbed my pink rubber gloves from the kitchen, squatted very low and dug the bodies up from the ground. With my recently sharpened machete I diced the bodies into small tangible pieces and placed the body parts in derelict areas around the city!’’

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